I think one of my faults which I am very self-critical in lately is that I overthink things. I overthink, overanalyze, and complicate situations much more than what needs to be. I am trying to learn to see things simpler, and pray about them sooner, and just see Christ more in decision-making, and truly understand my lack of free will (in a sense) but instead the need to let the Spirit flow through me and work through me. k.i.s.s.
That being said, a couple thoughts:
I see God though: manners and trying to go out of my way when I'm out at stores or such to be polite. I really like getting into conversations with strangers, for no other reason than to brighten their day for a little bit or remind them that good people (God in us) are still around and manners are still alive. I love manners. I think they are really important.
Also, other than manners, I was thinking about what I would like to instill in my students when it comes to morality and ethics. And I was in my car and this song came on the CD player, and I think the lyrics, though cheesy, would work well as a morality lesson for my overly-entitled, overly priviledged students:
Smile
Like you’ve got nothing to prove
No matter what you might do
There’s always someone out there cooler than you
I know that’s hard to believe
But there are people you meet
They’re into something that is too big to be
Expressed
Through their clothes
And they’ll put up with all the poses you throw
And you won’t
Even know
That they’re not sizing you up
They know your mom fucked you up
Or maybe let you watch too much TV
But they’ll still look in your eyes
To find the human inside
You know there’s always something in there to see
Beneath
The veneer
Not everybody made the list this year
Have a beer
Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there’s always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you’re the shit
But you won’t be it for long
Oh, there’s always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there’s always someone cooler than you
Now that I’ve got the disease
In a way I’m relieved
Cause’ I don’t have to stress about it like you do
I might just get up and dance
Or buy some acid washed pants
If you don’t care
Then you got nothing to lose
And I won’t
Hesitate
Cause every moment life is slipping away
It’s ok
Make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
But there’s always someone cooler than you
Yeah, you’re the shit
But you won’t be it for long
Oh, there’s always someone cooler than you
Yeah, there’s always someone cooler than you
Oh, there’s always someone cooler than
Life is wonderful
Life is beautiful
We’re all children of
One big universe
So you don’t have to be
A chump
And finally, I think e.e. cummings is amazing, and I especially enjoy his comment on truly living which I will post here:" . . . Only how measureless cool flames of making, only each other building always distinct selves of mutual entirely opening;only alive. Never the murdered finalities of wherewhen and yesno,impotent nongames of wrongrightand rightwrong;never to gain or pause,never the soft adventure of undoom,greedy anguishes and cringing ecstasies of inexistence;never to rest and never to have:only to grow.
Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question."
amazing.
amen .
I think one of the hardest things for us to do is to go out on a limb for people in terms of our emotions. Unrequited emotions - to always be the one available and not the one desired. Obviously people see this as most easily related to love, but I think it comes in all forms of emotional expression.
When we go out on limbs for others, it makes us vulnerable. It is really hard for me (or us?) to admit that this vulnerability is scary and induces paranoia. But then I think - this is a really important lesson for me. If it is scary to go out on a limb even a little bit, knowing we all have support systems and as Christians knowing that God is always with us, how much greater of a sacrifice and a gift is it for God through Christ to go out on a limb for us? It humbles me.
And in this way, even with all my distractions, God reminds me of the grace through which I am saved and calls me back, pulls, and cares for me.
Looking forward to eventually (after he gets back from Europe) talking with David S. about his call to the priesthood . . . Although previously I couldn't possibly understand how priests and nuns live with the celibacy/no marriage vow, I am starting to see how it's just a different call, and just how strong that call from God can be, and if you follow it and don't let these distractions get to you then your call and God's perfect/whole love will satisfy it.
