Brett's Discernment

What follows is my second reflection for prolog - on two sessions we had on 8/20 with three professors each taking a different slant on preparing to "think theologically." But I should mention my fabulous house here in Philly! My roommates and I lucked out and are living in a house which until now had been a professor's home with his family. It is huge, stone, quite old, with neat architecture and interesting details. See the picture at right!

Prolog Reflection – Thinking Theologically

I believe that we have to examine our own perspective quite well before we can try to lay aside our biases and think theologically as Christians first. So yesterday's sessions made me reflect on who I am – where I come from and how my faith was shaped – and how that impacts my theological thinking. First I think it an important distinction, though an obvious one, that my faith and my theology are quite different things. Faith is gifted through the Holy Spirit, and cannot be increased by our own power or by study, unlike the strength of one's theology.

So who am I? By looking at me you can see that I am a white, middle class female. I realize that I come from a privileged background. But certain things shape the way I am and approach diversity that are not outwardly apparent. Both my mother and father grew up in poor households in New England. So, although we were economically stable enough for my mom to stay home and raise us, a priority to her, my parents kept a tight budget and put other things ahead of the things my brother and I wanted. I could list the little sacrifices and choices my parents made to keep things lean, but that is not what is most important. What is important is that even though they did not discuss it, my parents acted out of their faith to put their own comfort behind the needs of others and their call to ministry. Through the church, my parents put financial giving and social ministry work as an important part of their lives. As a kid I always thought people just gave stuff away regularly and that everyone did things with the homeless and mentally disabled. Dr.s Grafton and Scott's comments made me reflect on what cultural perspective I come from, while Dr.s Grafton and Leonard's comments made me reflect on who I am to become in my call.

Part of who my parents shaped me to be, my own personal cultural perspective is to be very hungry for an academic challenge. So when Dr.s Pahl and Rajashekar,especially, shared their thoughts on thinking theologically, I felt quite inspired and excited to be starting down this academic road. I loved how they all spoke so passionately and like teachers, not just lecturers. Dr. Pahl's way of evaluating cultural narratives was really interesting to me and having always been a student of cultural history, I liked how he described his field. I felt affirmed in my own beliefs by Dr. Rajashekar's simple assertion that there is no theological absolute and that they are all culturally bound and hence biased.

Jesus asks his disciples to lay aside everything – their culture, their loved ones, and their lives – in order to open up their minds enough to barely think theologically with Jesus. I hope to, as Dr. Grafton described, have the faith and strength of belief to lay aside part my culture to take up my cross and follow my call as a Christian first.

I moved to Philly August 15 and started orientation and prolog here at LTSP shortly thereafter. We have prolog which is basically like a two-week long into to seminary and theology. Actual classes start Sept. 2. For prolog, we had to write a reflection after the first couple days to share in our small group - mine is below:

For me prolog is not about the process, the academic, the newness of things around me. Like our salvation, from the Lutheran perspective, I feel this beginning is one of those “already and not yet” kind of situations – we are here but we perhaps do not feel like it is the full experience yet. I trust in God and know that in just a couple short weeks or even days this will be our “home” as a community together, and that is something that God does, not something that I control. So, worry is not the dominant emotion here. After all, Jesus talks a lot about not worrying. Despite all of the change that has broken into so many parts of our lives – our schedules, our geographical space, our focus, our friends, Christ is still at the center.

In these first couple days of prolog what has struck me strongest is the amazing diversity that God has pulled together in this one place. Not only that we are here, but how the Spirit has acted in our lives in such different ways to call, enlighten, and empower us to serve in such different ways. What keeps coming back to me are the verses from Romans (and echoed throughout the gospels) 12:4-8 “For as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually we are members of one another. We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giveer, in generosity; the leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.” After listening to the faith stories of those around me the last couple days, those verses kept coming to mind. We are the body of Christ, shaped by the Spirit, and our gifts are so different. I feel very affirmed so far that LTSP is not going to try to fit us into one mold or another but that recognizes that we are different, with different and diverse gifts for ministry. That is one of the things that drew me to this place, so I am trying to soak up as much as I can from the variety of perspectives and faith stories that are shared.

I find that in my life the times that my faith has grown most dramatically are those times when I am humbled in one way or another. Here I am humbled now by the stories of faith I hear around me, the life experiences, the dramatic differences Christ has made and continues to make in our lives. I do know that I am young and I as we all have a long and curving road ahead of me, in seminary and in pursuing my call in the larger sense. Right now I feel that I cannot possibly take in everything that is around me with the new start here in seminary, but I don't have to. So I don't worry, this is God's work in all of us. Like Jesus says in Matthew & Luke - “So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. . . Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is the father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom!”