The issue (challenge?) with the golden rule . . .
0 Comments Published by Brett on 19 January, 2008 at 9:42 PM.
One of my sweetest, most mature students has come to me repeatedly this past week very frustrated. Her problem: She tries her hardest to be a responsible, giving friend and peer to those around her, and does not see it reciprocated. Our conversations as well as those as with other relationships in my life got me thinking - sometimes the challenge with the "golden" rule is that it can be that the "others" do not want or outright reject you for what you feel is your giving treatment of them. I was thinking and praying over this and these relationships and thinking of interactions in general, when I returned to the text from Luke 6:
27 "But I (Jesus!) say to you that listen, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 If anyone strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also; and from anyone who takes away your coat do not withhold even your shirt. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you; and if anyone takes away your goods, do not ask for them again. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 If you lend to those from whom you hope to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love your enemies, do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. F55 Your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High; for he is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 37 Do not judge, and you will not be judged; do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven; 38 give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back."It can be a painful lesson to keep going and offer the other cheek and keep going. I find it interesting and relevant to these relationships now in this reading though that it is give what they ask for . . . or later in the verses just to do your best and give of yourself whatever you can, without judging a person or trying to evaluate (without having their true perspective) what their needs are. I often return in my thoughts to verse 35 - but only the first part - I am assured of the reward, the second part, and it is not what I strive for. This is not a give and take (action/reward) to me, but a emotional, intellectual, and behavioral perspective by which I can more deeply walk with Christ. It is hard as well to expect nothing in return, and I suppose after writing all this that is eventually what I, my student, and we all struggle with, and I have written at length in the past.
She, my student, is so good and helpful to her friends and peers, only to have them forget about her or not consider/involve her later. Which makes me think even all the more, how much more is Christ's sacrifice and God's grace - when we feel such injury from doing good and then being spurned with trivial little daily human things, and yet we walk far away from God in sin and DAILY most of us do not give our faith relationship the nourishment that it needs . . . Do to others as we would have them do to us. We "would have" God grant us the grace, mercy, and forgiveness and continual everlasting life . . . Yet what do we do to God to reflect that gift? I suppose that out of that question comes the vocation of our lives, big picture and little, daily actions and life paths.
Side note - we were reading (in Matthew) this passage this week . . . and I'm sure that some have lived much more extreme examples, but I think teaching has given me a lot of real perspective on the first part of this passage - Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
There are some students (some I have taught for 3 years now) who, at best, do no good to me but curse me. But in the end they have taught me how hard this is, and to truly pray for them in earnest, and turn the other cheek and bless them. So in the end they have done me good, I suppose. My first year of teaching it was a daily challenge to forgive them and I would say I did very poorly at it, often going into classes still irritated at past behaviors and hence not able to be calm or adult enough to move past it. But God is good, and he grants us the strength to grow through him if we work on it and ask. Some of my relationships with these students have quite evolved . . .
I pray for many things and people this week. . . I also pray with great hope that next week will be better.
I am very tired as I write this so I do not know how coherent it is, apologies.
Peace and love in Christ
Labels: faith, golden rule, vocation
I need to do a better job with leaving behind the politics of an organization or group (even church or faith-based ones) and gossip and do a better job at seeing Christ in situations.
At right is my small group, 14, from Kairos '07. Up until this point, I had always felt like God had given me really challenging kids in a lot of different situations, who were in times of crisis and needed to talk to someone or come to some climactic moment. I learned a big lesson at this Kairos because I know it won't always be this way, and that's ok. That doesn't lessen the experience or mean that I've served less. I meet people with my faith, where they are, and try to build on that.
Often these synod youth events have small group experiences in which kids have these deep, deep, secret-divulging conversations, and very emotional things which can result in hard-to answer/find God with such hard life circumstances. But that is not what happened in this group, or what they needed. It was a close, curious group, but had basically had been well-churched, but had a few basic faith/Lutheranism questions that needed to be answered, so sometimes it felt more like confirmation class (as some of the questions were really basic). I think God pairs these small groups and their leaders, and that He does a good job (of course). I am much more well-read, better versed in scripture to support the beliefs I have, and so I felt like God did at least a little bit of work through the Spirit through me. Kids constantly amaze me though, with their insight, love, assumptions, and troubles.
An update on my earlier post - I have been and had others praying for my dear student who is sick. She went to M.D. Anderson in Houston for treatment and they have decided surgery is an option. She will have (among other tissues in the area) her vocal chords removed, so she will permanently have a hole in her throat and have to learn a new way to talk. She is home now visiting before her surgery. She teaches me so much about hope and love as she sees life so optimistically, now more than ever, and is excited to learn her new way to talk and get back to school after maybe three more months in Texas. I cannot wait to have her back because (as I pray), I cannot imagine her hope or confidence in herself flogging, and so she will be such a shining example to other students. Her peer friends have also learned a lot of lessons from her also, I know.
I had a dream last night about my call and candidacy. I won't go into detail here, nor do I really put a lot of stock in dreams. However, I do have very, very lifelike vivid dreams which can shake me up sometimes. This one reinforced for me how excited I am about following God's call for me and getting to seminary and through candidacy, etc. Vocations conference is coming up in August and I am pretty excited about it, though admittedly also a little anxious as well.
I self-criticize perhaps too much about the execution of my call and getting to seminary - but I know, that in my heart I love God and am really excited about my call, and it is only between myself and Christ. I have grown so much in these (what will be three) years of teaching, and I love my work in teaching as my call and looking at the deep relationships I've formed with students. I needed this time off desperately before seminary, to feel like a true adult, be independent, and be in a new congregation and make my own community and live out my faith completely on my own, as an adult, as a colleague to others, not a junior, as an adult. I am a very different person than when I graduated college two years ago. My broken engagement was the right thing to happen but took some healing time and re-focusing on my faith walk that has been invaluable to who I say that I am now, and more importantly, whose I say I am. There has been some pain and lonliness in these years, but I have grown infinitely from it and having the world wide open to me, not structured, but seeing just where God and my passions lead. And of course, as Christ calls, I am made to follow.
