Brett's Discernment

Safety in Numbers . . .
We feel more safe when the multitude around us affirm and approve our work, our daily existence. In many ways I feel more "safe" in staying at school next year, but this is a contrived safety. I have to say, I am having a great year teaching. It's not that I don't have any frustrating students or classes, it's just great to be in a brand new school, have a great rapport with students who I have again, and be on a largely positive staff. Part of me would really like to stay and especially see certain kids through till graduation. But it does not feel like my call. I do not feel fully satisfied in it. I want to share my faith with these kids, I want to tell them why I treat them as I do . . . I want to invite them to CTK. . .
So I should be planning my sunday school lesson right now, but it's mostly done.

Safety in Numbers. . .
Where do I feel most safe? In this statement:
For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.

I do believe in what I teach, but not enough to make it my life, my call. I love doing it . . . But I do believe through prayer and people and events God has put in my life that I am called to ministry. What is safety? This is the verse that comes to mind - I used to use it prayerfully the summers that I worked @ CFLC.
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Numbers 6:24 - The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you, the Lord lift his countenance upon you, and give you peace. the Aaronic blessing...

safety in numbers. And yet safety is not what we seek in following the Christian lifestyle, although we have the assurance of resurrection with Christ... I seek to lose my "life" - to be ultimately unsafe - and follow my call . . . in slowly coming to terms with the seriousness of the decision, of the allowing my heart to follow this call, it takes a little getting used to, the idea of handing over the "control" we think we have over our lives, which we don't even have to begin with... creation is amazing - the God-given gift of diversity, complexity, and love!

Happy Sunday!